Goodbye

I This is it. I've thrown away my thermometer. All my tests. My vitamins. My hope. I'm done. I can't handle the false hope any longer. My temp dropped. Another negative and a bad dream. 2 years of trying and I'm done. We're done. I guess I was never meant to have a child of my own. I have my dogs. Maybe I'll go put my time back into the world. Go volunteer somewhere. I have a lot of love to give. Thank you all for following me and supporting me. 

Merry Christmas and Baby Dust! 

Update from Tests

The performed the "water test" on both tests. If you are unaware of what that means then let me explain. Peeonastickfreak.com stated that in order to determine if an evap is just that or a BFP, she/they put water on a dry test and let the urine wash away. After the water ran through the test the "evap" was gone, hence it being an evap but a true BFP stays or gets darker. These are my results. 

Hilarious!

Oh my god!! I was talking to my husband today about a woman I am following and her POAS addiction. He said "you mean other people are like you" He seriously thought I was just a crazy lady staring at my charts, hpts and forums all day. I then showed him all the forums, pregnancy test questions, blogs, charts.. Etc and he was shocked. I laughed so hard! 

Compare

The top photo is the exact same brand of test I took last cycle, which had to be negative. Underneath is this cycle. 

This cycle 

9DPO test at 15m

This picture is taken 5 minutes after the allowed time. This is the worst part. I see a line, don't you? The only difference is the test is taken apart. In my opinion, the cheap Rexall tests have a thick "result" window and it prevents seeing the result well. This is what you see now. 

9DPO Test

So, I took a test today and at 6DPO. I'm going to say this with full confidence. Every test you take will have an evaporation line after the allotted time in the instructions. Normally 10minutes. I am a POAS addict and I always keep my tests for days. Atleast 80% of my tests turn up "positive" after 24hours. The dipstick test I took at 6dpo. At that time it had no line. Now it has a faint one. I am also posting the HPT I took this morning. Picture taken within 10m. I will also update how the test dries out to give an evap. 

6DPO

9DPO

8DPO

Today, I am 8DPO. I had my first ever LP dip at 7DPO with outstanding high temps this cycle. I caved and took an HPT this morning with the faintest line, but clumsy me dropped it in the sink and it was submerged in water so I couldn't stare at it anymore. I think it's a blessing! Anyway, I've been sleeping all day for the past couple days, very tired. The cramping has gone away, I have practically no symptoms anymore! Which worries me, maybe I am out? This is my chart today, 

Looking good right?! Unfortunately, I can have all the signs, symptoms and temps indication pregnancy and it mean nothing.. It's all just a waiting game. Tomorrow will bring the chances of a BFP to a nice 30%. I'm going to test anyway, because I'm anxious and cautiously excited! 

Prayers please ladies! 

🙏🏻

6DPO Cycle 6

Starting Cycle November 10, Ovulation November 29, currently 6dpo. 

This is my current chart. As you see, it is extremely different from every other one. I feel pregnant, again.. This is how I have felt so far

1DPO - itchy nips, nausea

2DPO - achy, sore nips, nausea

3DPO - sore nips, cramps 

4DPO - dizzy spells, burning nips

5DPO - tight pulling in uterus, cramps

6DPO - heavy feeling, itchy nips, fuller bbs, headache, cranky, AF cramps, uterus/ovaries pull with every step/bend

I feel very pregnant needless to say. I am so excited that I'm scared, it's weird. I am taking a super early HPT tomorrow because I am going nuts. I have never been so stressed lately. I'm really hoping this is it.